How To Build Emotional Resiliency

Emotional Resiliency is something each and every one of us needs in life. It's especially true for those of us in community management, customer service, and pretty well any public facing activity we may do.

Yes, that includes shopping at the mall (I can't be the only one triggered by slow walkers and people who constantly stop at windows with lineups of people behind them).

We are human, patience and tolerance for not just ourselves but each other as well goes a long way.

There are 4 keys to help achieve emotional resiliency. I'll let you know at the time of writing I have been dropping the ball a fair bit on these practices and it shows.

It shows in attitudes, behavior, and willingness to jump into conflict just for the confrontation to blow off steam. It's not professional and all it does is hurt us and the organizations we are operating again.

On the other side of the coin however, mistakes will happen, we will slip up, sometimes even fall into an old pattern, it's okay to make mistakes.

Be sure you're in an environment which fosters and encourages growth. If you don't have that, it's time to start upgrading our circles.

Key #1: Build Self-Esteem

Do you feel worthy and respected by others? Do you feel like you truly belong? This stems from our hunter and gatherer days.

In the old times the safest thing to do was travel in groups, hunt together, fish together, farm together. Everybody had to chip in and do their part. To not play your part or to do the tribe wrong you would face a punishment worse than death: be kicked out of the tribe.

We haven't really evolved past this as a species. While we don't necessarily have selection pressure anymore (although covid reminded us health and genetics are critical and important), our sense of belonging is still critical.

Activities to build self-esteem: seek positive friends, workout, eat healthy, meditate, journal, get outside and enjoy nature, and limiting screen time.

Key #2: Be Other Focused

While building self esteem is largely focused on inner dialogue and behaviors, being other focused turns that attention outwards to spread our love and joy with the world.

We can become too self-absorbed at times which causes us to focus too much on external feedback loops. Where's that next hit of "positive reinforcement" coming from?

We have everything we need to become happy and content in life. It lives inside of each of us, it's not external.

When you focus on others instead of yourself you can also build self esteem, and when we cultivate an attitude of being focused on the people around us as opposed to ourselves, building resiliency is assured.

Key #3: Optimism

Our attitude determines our altitude in life. Our internal dialogue has a large impact on the world around us.

From how we perceive what's happening to (or for) us, how we handle collissions (or conflict), the gratitude we may or may not express.

That's not to say it's all butterflies and rainbows all the time. Life certainly doesn't operate that way, the Force of Average (FOA) is always trying to drag us back down to being average.

However, the grace, courage and positivity we not only display, but feel, when faced with adversity is the greatest signal of the resiliency we've built up.

Despite the adversity we look for solutions because we believe in the future.

Are you operating day-to-day from a place of abundance and compassion? Or scarcity and fear?

Key #4: Self Control

Self control is a big skill a lot of us often spend our lives to master, or don't bother trying at all.

A great example is the 8 beer I drank last night when I should have stopped at 2.

Going back to an abusive or manipulative employer or relationship.

Self control takes alignment with your 3P's (Passions, Purpose, Principles), your stand and the mission you're on at this stage in life (founding docs of your life, nobody can answer those for you!).

Your WHY is the driving foundational force of your life, your reason for being on this earth. We all have a purpose here. Doing the work daily, being disciplined and consistent with your routines, connecting with gratitude and aligning your daily tasks around around your founding docs!

In Conclusion

In life the most rewarding path to self mastery is in service to others. When we do right by our people, have a positive attitude, and stay disciplined each day to maintain our standard of life, we make progress in leaps and bounds.

Community and connection are 2 of the most important emotions we need to feel as human beings. Without it there is no self mastery only gluttony, greed and isolation.

See you next week gang and don't forget to smash that subscribe button to be the first to receive new articles!